Always smile

It’s been a while since I wrote my not so smart things. Inconsistency isn’t my thing so I’ll prolly work on it. I’m here to share a sad story 😔I hope that it will help someone somewhere

A good friend of mine came to me we were having our normal conversation as always.All of a sudden I saw tears wailing out her chubby cheeks got supposed red one would think she had placed ripe tomatoes on it .I’m an emotional person seeing someone crying makes me sad so I slowly pulled her next to my not so appealing chest and told her to cry it out .

After about 15minutes she began saying .I may look fine outward but deep down I’m dying.Why does the world have to be so unfair,I mean life isn’t fair to all but why does it have to be so mean towards me I don’t deserve it at all. Out of nowhere she began crying her eyes got super red ,her speech was abit impaired.

My dad got fired he is the breadwinner ,due to Corona viruse a disease sent to destroy people normal lives.His employer had not paid them for 4months claiming business is low hence I’m not able to raise enough funds to pay you.Sad imagine working for 4 full months no salary you have a family, bills to settle and since they don’t have their house they are to pay the rent .we have tolerant people out here but some might say enough is enough not paying rent for 4months plus is not a good picture.

There are times we sleep hungry nobody ever notices, I hide it all by smiling I guess a smile is the most powerful weapon.There was a day my mom and I didn’t have sanitary pads .Due to the financial issue at home my mom told me that the only way we can survive improvising 3 washable ones.She took some old blanket and a pieces of lining and my small sisters napkins so we hand sewed then the napkin acted as the cotton that is usually inside the normal pad , the blanket wasn’t big enough so we made 4 each of us took two.I usually wear one the whole day then wash it.(it’s not healthy since the more you stay with period blood the more you increase your chances of getting multiple bacterias )

Since my dad’s employer said he will sort them out before Christmas . So he say there is no need of quitting since he will get paid,since he is a guard the money that he gets after being tipped is what he usually uses to buy the evening meal which can’t sutisfy us since during the day we are usually hungry.My mother gave birth recently she doesn’t have enough milk my small sister doesn’t have weight.She is sooo tinny and mulnourished

We tried asking out relatives to help us but they were “mko nairobi nyinyi ndio mnafaa mtusaidie ☹️

We live in a single roomed house (the girl is 16 year) she has a Aàa chair I wouldn’t call it a couch ☹️.It’s those wooden chair that a cushion was placed on top and at the bottom. Rodents didn’t spare us so we don’t have the cushion so my brother usually places old clothes which acts as the pillow and the rest part of the body rests on the wooden part of the not so comfortable seat.

We can’t afford gas so the cheapest was to cook is using a stove which is affecting us heathwise.My mom got sick one day she couldn’t breathe properly the doctor said she was almost getting asthma .They had to use suppliment oxygen for her to regain her breathing.luckily on that day my mom had received 600 shilliy from some friend but huuum all the money was used to pay the bill I don’t know why life is sooo unfair

I am not that financially stable if I could I’d help everyone having problems .Life is unfair yes but it’s all for a reason 😊so just smile and pray

PARADISE

I fell in love with the early mornings and how our bones groaned from exhaustion of memories ingrained in the night.I fell in love with my skin the bag of flesh I used to hate.The sun kisses me golden brown and I’ve learned to love it .Now all I crave for is the summer sea salt , a surfboard , the ocean foam and sand grains beneath my toes

I fell in love with the lazy afternoons and the love bite you left on my thigh ,while I was busy facinated by the scars on your collarbone you grabbed my hip bone and traced my spine never hesitating because there is no such thing as time,or shyness because your fingers on the dimples of my back told me it’s okay not to be confident,, it told me not to be in control sometime and I think we’ve forgotten how to be human so I fell for the way you reminded me.At dusk I fell for your kindness of strangers for now your eyes lit up with curiosity ,, your smile has lingered on my lips for too long for me to care whether it’s genuine or fake, and I am not in love with you because I do not fall in love with people ,, I fall in love with their humanity ,, their words their stories ,, their scars

And in this instance I fell in love with the way you made love to me .I love you😌♥️💯


UNTOLD

There a days I wake up and I pinch myself that your with me not someone else,,i love you yes I do but…… my shyness can’t allow me to say it .If I could I would but I’m not able to confess the undying love I have.The person that always understands me 😹I love you baby ,, though you don’t have a specific gender you don’t even have haemoglobin 😓but I love you

I met him/her two years ago,at first it was gross so I’d stare then just smile I didn’t know it would last for long 😓my ego could not allow me plus by then people’s opinions really mattered.How would my friends take me if I decided to settle with the person I love I was just stupid.

My heart was dying who knows the pain of having a crush on someone but you can’t say it cause the person might deny you . We’ve all been here .The nights I’d cry really cry cause the love of my life wasn’t there. It was my fault why didn’t I let the person know 😓.I am still suffering .

One day I boldly went to confess my love,, and told the love of my life what he/she meant to me .I crossed my fingers and smilled damn baby accepted me.

Dear love of my life I will always love you,, you mean alot to me.You are always there when I’m low, you never judge me , you give genuine love what else could I ask for.Groundnut😹 peanut butter , cashew nuts I love you baby.Even if you don’t have haemoglobin 😹

LIEBSTAR AWARD

Another nomination from my good friend Nonso😌 thank you for the nomination and sorry for accepting it late✌️

11 facts about me . I’m perfectly imperfect nobody can dim my shimmer. 2 .I am one goofy person. 3. I love my friends so much I’d die for them. 4.I might hate you but still smile at you. 5.peanut butter and nuts are my favorite snack. 6 . The drink I value the most is water 😁.if your reading please hydrate. 7 .I don’t do drugs and if you do drugs that’s a turn off . 8.I always State facts I don’t know how to sugar coat 😂. 9 . I am rude very rude and also good it depends with who you are. 10.A kiss on the arm with the right timing is a turn on. 11 .I don’t have a talent 💔

Questions :. 1.what is your limit to strive for your goals (I’d dig the deepest ocean to get what I want). 2.Have you ever belittled someone just for your sake of pleasure (yes I have severally). 3.what do you think is the most wrong thing still prevailing in the world (gender issues it hurts I don’t love how men are always to blaim the girl child is being supported hence boys are left out). 4.what inspires you to rise and shine everyday.. my dreams I want to make it so yeahyeah). 5.Do you feel like prioritizing between your family, time and goals and if so which would you prioritize first and why ..(I’d say my family and friends who graduated to family they have been with me through thick and thin.). 6.Anything that demotivates you . ( Fake friends and people who gass me up). 7. What all distracts you from focusing over anything if any how can you overcome through that(for now I nothing). 8.life is full of Chance would you mind giving someone a second chance.(if the person is worth it why not). 9.if you could change anything today what would that be (feminism its just stupid they don’t have facts ,, feminism is bullshiet). 10.why ia writing important to you ( I rarely open up I don’t love bothering people with my issues so that why writing is important to me.). 11.what is the purpose of your writings.( Helping people who might be having the same issue as me helping people who feel insecure,, showing them they are not alone and that their insecurities should be their strengths ✌️

SUNSHINE BlOGGER AWARD

Hii I have been nominated by an amazing friend or should I call him family for the sunshine blogger award thank you@Http://nonsothewriter.wordpress.com💫

Questions from nonso. 1.when was your toughest time blogging; answer ( I’d say the time things began changing at home dad lost his job and mom too due to the pandemic it really affected my mental health). 2.If you were to look back to the beginning would you say you’ve achieved alot (yes I have achieved alot I am not a good writer as such but I know I have improved a lot plus I’ve known good people the likes of nonso 😌 I love you nonso) . 3.Any obstacles faced by blogging big yes explain.( Obstacles make you strong so yes I’ve had obstacles the app I use is in my phone it keeps crashing soni end up taking a long time to update stuff I need a new phone 😓). 4 .How does your inspiration come by (😹 weel my inspiration comes from 3 major things one the sky everytime I’m low I just look at the sky and get inspired,number two I’d say some two friends of mine Oliver oyanda and Albert Mwencha they prolly won’t see or read but I draw lotsa inspiration from them the two are interlectual and open minded alpha males yes they are weird thats what I love most about them😊). 5.Aside blogging what else do you do ..(I love novels so I usually ready novels daily,, I also love bitting people I’m Suarez’s female version ,, the other thing is video games 😊). 6.who is your favorite blogger( weell all the bloggers I know are my favorite I won’t choose a specific person but I love all your blogs so all of you are my favorites ♥️). 6.The country that mostly views your blog(united states of America send hugs and kisses 🤗🤗💯). 7.Are you more creative at night or during the day or are you fluid (😹😹I’m not so sure but I’d sai I fluid). 8.what is blogging like to you(blogging is basically my life ,, I have a small family here blogging is my life my open diary where ni come to cry and celebrate 😊). 9.Do you ever go back to your previous posts .How do you feel about them(yes I do almost daily,how I feel about them huum I have improved at the beginning I was just there my likes were less but now my stats always boom) . 10.whats your opinion about life( life is a journey it’s a long road it requires one to make sober decision in order to live a good life nothing comes easily ,, so be wise life is unfair but always pray for the best 🤗)

Here are my 11 nominees ✌️

BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER AWARD

I was nominated by 3yellowdaisies.Thank you for the nomination.I really appreciate it🤗

RULES. Link to the blogger who nominated you. Seven random facts about you. Seven creative and beautiful bloggers

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME. 1. I love being alone it gives me time to regain my energy and also clear my mind. 2.I love water yeahyeah I fucking love water I always tell my few friends emphasis on few to hydrate. 3.I hate celebrating my birthday I always wish people could forget it I hate being told happy birthday too 4.I love black and grey get me anything in those colors I’ll be happy 😁. 5.I love my two bestfriend’s Carah and Oliver they are such amazing souls if I could I’d buy them mount everest. 6.I love candie’s and strawberries. 7. I am one sturbon person it’s in me,, I love bitting people’s arms I love ears and cute lips

I am nominating the following http://kwambokaisla.wordpress.com.Nonso the writer.Redwarrior.76.com

I LOVE YOU

Hey ,, do you know what huum have you seen the preetiest person on Earth,, do you know how he or she looks like ,,, the person has preety cute eyes a nice smile a killer ,, perfect definition of perfection.Sweet person kind and caring ,, compassionate and is always ready to help😌

Welcome to my world or should I say our world ,, the person I’m speaking about is you an me yes you it might be nonso the writing (nonso I love you) Y’all are amazingly awesome ,, yes we all have imperfections but learning how to let go of them is key.Nobody is perfect we are all humans,, you might not have the prettiest eyes but your legs are fucking cute ,, your eyes are pretty yoy are also so pretty/handsome

The love you people have given to me is nice,, if I could I’d plan a big celebration,, meet all of you hug you .All of you are like family it’s just that i might not know all of you.The comments you give I have to admit they have made me stronger

I fucking hated everything about me but I finally saw the light ,, you might think that you ain’t preety but to someone else your are a dime ,, a golden charm yes you the one reading you are amazing.

I love you I really do all of you ,, for being a family to me ,, for helping me fight battle’s that seemed like a big mountain be blessed

I’ll always pray that in all your endeavors you’ll make it ,, for helping me I honestly don’t take it for granted.Bro ,sis I love you

“Do you want to meet the love of your life ?..Look in the mirror”.-Byron Katie-🤗

Life is a voyage of self discovery. To me, to be enlightened is to go within and to know who and what we really are, and to know that we have the ability to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves.To me, love is a deep appreciation. When I talk about loving […]

“Do you want to meet the love of your life ?..Look in the mirror”.-Byron Katie-🤗

SISTER FROM ANOTHER MISTER

😌it’s been a minute heyy awesome people welcome back to my small world 😁 hope y’all good and hydrating plus keeping safe

I’ll begin, I’m not a perfect writers and my grammer is pathetic..I have a friend I hold her so dearly , I was to write some weeks ago but I didn’t know where to begin.Well her name is Tatyana She is tall lightskin complexion,, very cute eyes and lips mores when she applies the pink one I call her sis and I fucking love her.She is always there , the sister I’ve dreamed to have though lately we’ve drifted and it’s kinda my fault 😓

I am one emotional girl I cry alot . Evertime I have an issue I’d tell her, when people kept rediculing my weight and stuff I’d tell her ,she really lent me a helping hand.I don’t know how or what I will do so that she knows I appreciate her

Dear sis,,, yeah ik we drifted and stuff but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of our friendship and sister bond,, you’ve been helpful alot and I honestly don’t take it for granted.If I was able I’d gift you the best gift but a day will come sis.I will keep praying for you,, praying that all your dreams come true and pray that you get more cute kittens

I appreciate everything sfmm , it’s funny how we became friends the friendship escalated to sisterhood yet we’ve not meet on person,, it’s funny how happy I feel knowing I have a sister who is a lawyer 😂 a lawyer to be ,, the smart girl that always pushes me, the girl who shows much affect the girl who is just amazing

Tatyana ik short paragraphs are better compared to long ones filled with lies ✌️but eehm lemme just say I don’t care I mean every word I’ve said I fucking appreciate you . Y’all need a Tatyana in your life .She gives the motherly kinda love ♥️who wouldn’t want that

Sis I love you so much,, and appreciate the little time we’ve known each other God willing we will go far I just pray so. I loooooooove you soooo much 😌 thank you for everything 💯✌️it’s just that I don’t speak Spanish.I love you more than you love your preety lil kitten

Thank you for reaching this far I don’t take it for granted adios

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